Am I Rich?

The Fiscal Times has an article listing the 9 Must Have Status Symbols that Say “I’m Rich”. I’ve wondered about that, so here’s my opportunity to find out…

  1.  Swanky strollers? No.
  2. Designer fashions in my closet? Hahahahahahahahaha. Ah. No.
  3. Fine wines? If by “fine” you mean “doesn’t have a screw top and a straw taped to the outside,” then, yes. If you mean $20 a bottle, then, no.
  4. Specialty bikes. Yes, but. At 6’5″, getting anything to fit properly usually involves the word “custom.” My mountain bike is a Zinn custom so that I can actually ride the thing without bustin’ a kneecap on the handle bars. And then there is the Sammy Flyer, also sized to fit my frame. So, this one is a qualified “yes.”
  5. Fur clothes – real or faux? No.
  6. Expensive designer dogs? No. Here’s my pack. These are working dogs that warn me of encroachers and intruders so that me and Mr. Springfield can be alerted to any potential call to action.
  7. Fast cars? No. I’m built for comfort, not for speed.
  8. International travel? Since surfing the InterTubes probably doesn’t qualify, no.
  9. Bling? The closest I get to bling is when the burrito I’m eating spills out onto my shirt. So, no.

Well, it looks like I’m not rich. In fact, according to my score on this scale, I’m down right poverty stricken. Where’s my Federal help?

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